Thinking About Christmas

Christmas is now only a few days away. This year hasn’t seemed as crazy as Christmas usually is. I’ve luckily had a lot more time to relax, enjoy family, look at my little Christmas tree, and think about “the reason for the season” (blah, I hate that phrase).

Last night I was sitting in my non-church fellowship gathering thing, Sojourn, reflecting about Christmas and why we celebrate. I had just taken communion and went back to the back of the room where the parents and babies hang out. I was looking lovingly at my child, and I couldn’t help but think about Jesus as a baby.

I love to think about Jesus is his humanity. He was completely human and completely God. What was that like? What was Jesus like as a baby? Did he stare lovingly into his mother’s eyes as he nursed from her breasts? Was he a good sleeper? Did he have colic? What about child-hood illnesses? What was his favorite toy as a baby? What was his first word? Did he suck his thumb?

The picture we most often get from the stories is a perfect, silent baby wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger. But Jesus was still a baby. And a baby is a baby. They come with all their perfect and imperfect little baby quirks. It’s weird to think about Jesus as an infant with a poopie diaper. But he did, right? Somehow, thinking about Jesus in this way helps me feel closer to him. It helps me feel like the vastness that is God is more relatable because of Jesus and his human-ness. Perhaps this is part of God’s plan (aside from  salvation). Perhaps this plan to make himself into one of us was a way of helping us relate to him.

Just something I’m mulling over this year at Christmas time….

Images from a December morning

My favorite is the morning hair and the self-inflicted scratch under the right eye.

weird dreams

I was just over at It’s Your Movie, and Erin just posted about a weird dream she had. I suddenly remembered the onslaught of weird pregnancy dreams I’m ALREADY having.

I’ve actually always had weird dreams, but when I’m pregnant I guess they get especially weird. Here are some highlights from this pregnancy and the last. Again with the lists. I know I know. Just go with it.

1. When I was pregnant with Evangeline, I dreamt I gave birth to a baby tiger. I was trying to breastfeed immediately after birth, but the sharp teeth were causing a problem. Then, within fifteen minutes, the tiger morphed into a fully clothed sixteen year old African-American girl. I continued to try to breastfeed but felt so awkward about it that I just couldn’t. Weird.

2. This pregnancy, I dreamt I gave birth to twins in a dentist chair . I pushed the first one out and my mom took him (a boy) and away so I could deliver the second. She came back while I was pushing and told me that the baby was actually a hermaphrodite. I was so mad at her for telling me this that I yelled at her to leave. Then, later the doctor told me that the baby was not a hermaphrodite but simply had very small testicles. WHY oh WHY am I having these kind of weird bizarre and kind of messed up dreams?

I used to be really into dream analysis, as in the concept that everything you dream means something. Then, I started having these kinds of dreams and the more that I tried to analyze the dreams, the more freaked out I got. So I kind of just stopped believing that everything meant something for my sanity.

Decorating a Child’s Nursery

With the new baby coming in July, I’m already thinking about how I’m going to decorate the nursery. With Evangeline, I found this part of pregnancy to be really fun and helped me to “get ready” for the baby if not physically, than definitely mentally.

Evangeline slept in our room for about 3 months and I imagine this baby will too. But I can’t wait to make a space for the little soybean for clothes, toys, changing station and eventually a place he or she will sleep.

The thing is we’re not finding out the sex. I made a bargain with Kyle last time that we would not find out for this baby because we found out for Evangeline. If he had it his way, every baby would be born a surprise. My opinion is that it’s just easier to find out before for decorating reasons, and for baby showers (unless you’re really into yellow and green which is exactly what you would get).

In any case, I’m getting on board with this whole not finding out thing. Slowly. My biggest problem is deciding on a nursery idea. Evangeline’s room is very girlie, although not traditionally so. I used the colors of green, bright pink and brown. The new room doesn’t have to be “girlie” or “boyish”, but gender-neutral rooms are hard to not make totally boyish.

Here are three things I know about decorating a nursery:

1. It must be functional for several years, not just the baby years.
2. I hate themes where everything matches and comes in one little package. Part of the fun for me is finding unique and fun ways to decorate that aren’t so baby cliché.
3. I am not made of money, and I have to do it on a budget. Which only inspires more creativity as we know.

My favorite resources for Evangeline’s room were:

1. Etsy! My love my love. All things wonderful and handmade. I bought a couple of really cute vintage sugar canisters that now contain bows, suckies, chalk (for her chalkboard door) and other odds and ends. I also had her bumper made from the Amy Butler fabric I picked out for the bedding. My mom made her comforter cover and pillow, but bumpers require a specific skill set that is easily available to find on Etsy.
2. OhDeeDoh. I found literally dozens of ideas and inspirations for Evangeline’s room including the bright pink “Funny Girl” poster that hangs on one wall. This website, a daughter of Apartment Therapy, has amazing photos and DIY projects from people all over the country. And none of these nurseries can be bought at Babies R Us.
3. Stuff I already had around the house. I used an “E” hook I already had (since our names begin with the same letter), old wooden toys that used to be mine, a picture I bought in Berkeley when I lived on Telegraph, and a favorite J.M.Barrie quote on the wall.
4. PDC the Boutique. I bought several cute things at the wonderful Lodi boutique including lanterns, decorated paper and a favorite Happy Birthday plate.

So time to start mulling over ideas for the second nursery. We shall see what becomes of it!

Yes, that last picture does have geometry on it. Kyle is bent on having the world’s youngest mathematical genius. He’s such a good dad:)

The importance of community

We all know the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”. Although it’s super cliché, I cannot help but realize how very true this is. I’m to have an amazing community of friends and family that help me through life, loss, sleep deprivation, and the rest of it.

I am lucky to have both my parents and Kyle’s parents living in town. With both of us working opposite schedules, our lives would truly not be possible without the generous help of our parents. They also provide continuous support and encouragement in our daily struggles and triumphs as parents.

My friends are simply amazing. I am realizing just how rare it is to have such a great support great like I do. There are four of us who have had babies within one year of each other and several other moms in my circle who have children only slightly older. We are able to gain encouragement from each other, call each other when times are tough and help one another with life. We help each other move, make meals for one another when we’re sick or when we have babies, watch each other’s kids so we can go to the back room and sleep, and are sometimes just their to listen and talk.

One of the greatest things my little circle of friends has done recently is to start a babysitting co-op. Each member of the babysitting co-ops has a “bank” of hours. You deposit hours when you watch someone’s kids and you withdraw hours when someone else watches your kids. This has saved us countless dollars, stress, and time. It’s so easy to use and there’s almost always someone available to watch whoever. I’m also so much more trusting of my friends who have kids to watch mine than a teenager who has never had her own baby. I encourage EVERYONE to start this among your friends, mom’s group, church group, exercise group or whatever. You will make friends, save money and have fun.

With the new baby on the way, my support group has been especially wonderful. It’s so amazing to be able to count on my friends and family to help me through life, and it’s so much more fun than trying to do it by myself. Thank you to all you amazing women (you know who you are) and to my parents and parents-in-law. I thank God for you every day.

so, i’m pregnant

You might be pregnant if:

• the smell of meat makes you nauseous
• you can sleep 12 hours a day and still be exhausted
• your nipples feel like razors at the slightest graze of fabric
• you’re thirstier than you’ve ever been before, even though you just swallowed a liter of water
• you take three pregnancy tests and they say positive

Check, check and check! Yes, I am pregnant!! I have a six month old baby and I’m pregnant!

What I’m excited about:

• Having another wonderful, amazing, beautiful child that Kyle and I created (with a little help from God)
• having a little brother or sister for Evangeline so close in age-they will always be playmates!
• being pregnant again and feeling life inside of me, feeling the blessing of being a woman and carrying a human into the world
• meeting another little person and getting to know them and their personality traits

What I’m nervous about:

• having another baby so close to Evangeline and not being able to deal with that
• having two in diapers, two in cribs, two nursing
• nursing while pregnant and diminishing milk supply
• gaining even MORE baby weight (this may sound trite, but it’s a genuine concern, especially because I’m not back to pre-prego weight yet)

Resources I’m using to deal with the onslaught of emotions:

• My friends and family who are wonderfully supportive and nurturing and encouraging
• Adventure in Tandem Nursing, by Hilary Flower
• a new favorite blog, Two under Two
• my wonderful husband, who remains the calm in my storm.

What’s with all the lists? I’m foreseeing needing a lot more of these in my immediate future. I think I’m about to get busier. But more blessed and enriched and overjoyed at the same time. Yay!!

My very active baby loves to nurse

Evangeline is such an active baby. She loves to look around, grab, roll, put things in her mouth.

Currently, this makes nursing her very difficult mostly because she gets distracted by something while nursing and takes my nipple with her while shifting her focus to the other side of the room. Ow! I try to put things over her head (blanket, nursing cover, etc) but she usually protests this and rips it off so she can continue to look around and look at me.

We’ve gone back to the football hold because it allows her greater access to mommy eye contact as well as looking at whatever is above my head more easily.

I also came across this very cool little gadget I’m considering purchasing. It’s called the Baby Bond. It’s a nursing cover that covers only mom and no the baby so that eye contact is still easily possible. My only concern with this one is the constant pulling off, my nipple might be left to hang out by itself without a little person to cover it up nicely for me. Not that I’m the most modest person in the world, but a nipple is a nipple nonetheless and it’s a bit embarrassing to have it out there for everyone to see.

Still, it looks relatively easy to use and could be used to cover an errant nipple with a quick covering of fabric.

For me and Evangeline, nursing has been such a wonderful and life-giving experience. I’m always looking for new products that help to support the nursing relationship between mother and child. Now I just need one that helps keep the baby on the nipple without her trying to pull it off your breast! Luckily, she hasn’t started biting yet!

More Homemade Gift Ideas

I’m trying to make more gifts this year, not only in an effort to save money but also in the spirit of making something personal for someone. It also can be a very “green” gift giving technique if you employ the use of stuff you already have.

I saw this one in Sunset Magazine and loved it! Who doesn’t have a rock at their disposal? The only thing you need to buy would be the stencil kit. Or if you’re REALLY crafty, you could make your own! Ok, I know paper weights get a bad wrap, but I would love to find this at the bottom of my stocking! So office chic.

Another idea is to re-pot a bulb you already have in your garden! We have tons and tons of Amaryllis Pink Naked Ladies (or Belladonna Amaryllis). Most bulbs reproduce on their own and can easily be split apart and replanted in containers or in other areas of the garden. This particular variety doesn’t bloom until the spring, but has an attractive foliage until then. Once spring hits, bam! A lovely pink flower surprise!

I’m really not a sewing type of person, so I try to avoid all projects that require threading a needle. I like these because they really require no rigorous manual dexterity.

Sleeping Baby in Real Life

We’ve hit the six month mark. Six months, one week and four days exactly.This time period usually marks a significant change in the sleep pattern of infants. Babies usually begin to sleep through the night if they aren’t doing so already, and start taking longer naps.

Evangeline has been a champion sleeper from birth and was sleeping through the night at around 3 months. Note: sleeping through the night is 6 hours of sleep without waking, not 12. She was a good sleeper…until last week.

The cursed holiday season has turned my angelic little sleeper into a nightmare of a wakeful zombie. Blearing cries at all hours, wide awake at 4am for no good reason. I know, I’m spoiled. I got used to going at least 7 or 8 hours without having to feed her.

But seriously, when you go from this pleasant dream world where your baby sleeps peacefully, to this…it’s a little jarring.

I THINK I’ve found a good solution.

Our current system for putting Evangeline to sleep is bath, books, nurse, swaddle, suckie, and rock with singing to sleep for 5 or 10 minutes, put down in crib. She usually stays asleep and wakes or fusses when she hasn’t had quite enough cuddling or has to burp. During this time we were definitely more in the no-cry-sleep solution category. This system WAS working so well for us and was usually not at all time-consuming.

Now, we rock and cuddle for 10 minutes, put in crib and let cry for 10-15 minutes, go back in and rock and cuddle for another few minutes, then put her on her tummy to go to sleep. This is weirdly working. I know I know, there are those that are reading this thinking I’m going to kill my baby. But really, she’s 6 months, can roll over and move around her crib by herself. I think she’s fine. And she’s sleeping. I’m not one to complain about the sleeping thing, no matter what you might have to do to get there.

I was reading one of my favorite sleep blogs last night, Pick Nick’s Brain and it talked about this very phenomenon. Many babies need a change in pattern every few months to get them to sleep. What once worked every time without fail may suddenly not work and it’s time to randomly select a new pattern to try out. We have never really been into cry-it-out (it feels so against my instincts to let my baby cry), but after many sleepless nights, it’s seemed that Evangeline just needed to fuss and cry a bit to get to a really tired place.

We’ll see…it’s only two nights now that this has actually worked. Tomorrow (or later tonight) may be a different beast.

pleease!

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